Sarah Bourne on grief and Letting Go

Sarah’s latest novel, Letting Go, explores a family’s response to their patriarch’s last days, guided by death doula Hester Rose. If you don’t know what a death doula is, read on as Sarah and I discuss this and much more.

What is a death/end of life doula?

You may have heard of birthing doulas; a death doula helps at the other end of life, easing the way for the individual who is dying, and their family and friends. Sometimes they stay on to help plan the funeral and to support the family in the initial stages of grief.

Have you been a death doula?

I haven’t, but I’ve always been fascinated by death and dying.

In my twenties, I worked as a volunteer bereavement counsellor and with young people dying of AIDS in the Lighthouse, the AIDS hospice in London. More recently, I completed a Midwifing Death course and worked as a biographer for people with a life-limiting illness through the Sacred Heart Hospice in Sydney.

Can you please share the blurb for Letting Go?

A gripping tale of family secrets, betrayal and the haunting grip of the past.

When elderly Walter Armstrong hires Hester Rose to guide his family through his final days, he hopes to ease their grief. But as old wounds and hidden truths come to light, Hester finds herself entangled in a web of betrayal and deception.

A furious son disinherited from his legacy. A daughter haunted by the possibility that she hastened her father’s death. And a shadowy name in the will all lead to a shocking revelation that threatens to destroy what’s left of the family.

Amidst it all, Hester’s own past resurfaces.

But Walter isn’t gone entirely. He watches from the other side helplessly as the family he sought to protect unravels.

As tensions escalate and secrets spiral out of control, Hester must navigate this fractured family’s darkest truths before they implode completely. Can she bring them together, or will the Shoebridge legacy be shattered forever?

Perfect for fans of Imogen Clark, Letting Go is a suspenseful and deeply emotional story of love, grief and the devastating power of secrets.

It seems like a book about death might be rather dark, but I came away feeling inspired. How did you manage to make such a challenging topic more palatable?

Making the protagonist an outsider meant she had a less emotionally charged perspective than members of the family and could help them navigate the different ways in which they were facing Walter’s death and their own grief. Giving them Millie, the naughty dog, also helped lighten the narrative when necessary.

Your characters all respond to Walters pending death differently. Is this true of what you have observed in life?

Absolutely. No two people grieve the same way, and although we talk about stages of grief, it isn’t a linear process. I thought it was important to highlight these things and to emphasise that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Sometimes you’re going to feel crushed by the weight of your feelings, and other times, not. People often feel guilty if they’re not sad all the time, but it’s normal for feelings to change, sometimes minute by minute.

Can confronting death help us live a better life?

I believe so. Facing our own mortality, or that of a loved one is never going to be easy but we’re all going to die and if we acknowledge that, we can make positive choices about how we spend our time on this glorious planet.

What key messages did you want to impart?

Mainly I wanted to start a conversation, to bring death, dying and bereavement into the public discourse instead of letting it stay like a scary monster under a rock!

What next for Sarah Bourne?

I’m writing a murder mystery series, which is new for me, but I’ve also written a novel about three women at different stages of life who become unlikely friends and support each other through various issues: whether to have children, the invisibility of middle age and the challenges of aging.

Is there anything else you want to add?

Only to say thank you for these great questions, and for having me on your blog!

You can follow Sarah on:
Facebook: Sarah Bourne Author
Insta: sarahbourne007
Booksales link:  Amazon UK

Next time: an interview with Susannah Hardy on My Hot Housemate.